August 31, 2020: Today’s Thank You Note to God

Today is the Anniversary of my Husband Ron’s death. My head and heart are flooded with memories. I will write a happier thank you note tomorrow, but today is just a really difficult day. I know there are many who have lost loved ones and will understand. Thank you for sitting and sharing this moment with me.

It’s been 6 years since Ron slipped through my fingers into heaven. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. Today, I want to remember and celebrate all the happy moments we shared, but I’m wading through tears to get to them. His dying was not part of our retirement plan but then life can change on a dime.

This afternoon I was sitting on the causeway overlooking the Gulf of Mexico with the bike trail he used to ride on right behind me. He didn’t like the water that much, so he would ride the trail and I would often walk in the water or sit and enjoy the view.

I was thinking, “What did I learn from him? What would he want me to remember most?”

I think if he intended for me to remember one thing, other than all the good times, it would be to enjoy life and to spend as much time as possible outside, looking at and enjoying the day God created.

The world was his playground. His bicycle his best friend. After he retired, he would often spend from morning till evening out on a bike trail wherever we lived – negotiating trails criss crossing Missouri, Illinois and Florida.

He would ride 50 plus miles a day, every day if he could, until he was diagnosed with MS and became paralyzed. Even when he was in a wheelchair, before he was confined to bed, he would go out on the trail and push himself in his chair till I needed to take over.

I believe that not being able to be on a trail riding his bike, broke his heart and his spirit. I think when he gave away his many bicycles it was the saddest moment in his life and part of him died.

He loved the outdoors. I can hear him saying to me that “If you stay inside you’ll miss everything”! – I can imagine him telling me from heaven “Take a minute to watch the clouds, feel the breeze on your face, soak in the sunshine, listen to the water and waves – (You live in Florida! The Gulf of Mexico is practically in your back yard!) Enjoy nature, the flowers and all the critters and birds sharing your day. Enjoy the people. Say Hi to everybody and SMILE. (I loved his smile). You may be the only person that talks to them all day. You can make a difference. Don’t waste the day!”

I miss him so much, especially dancing with him – swing dancing and especially slow dancing with his arm around my waste. We danced practically every weekend till he couldn’t.

He was a NAVY man and he loved watching the Army / Navy game each year. I can still hear him saying, “GO NAVY!”

He loved cookies especially Snickerdoodles. He loved cookies so much, he even wanted to be cremated and kept in a cookie jar. He still makes me smile thinking about him even though he’s gone.

He loved his children, grandchildren, our combined families, our friends, our dogs, his cat, his bikes and he loved me.

So Today:

I want to Thank God for my best friend, my husband, my lover, my confidant, my inspiration, my dance partner, game partner and life partner, my Sweet Heart, Ron. I’m sure he’s dancing, eating cookies, riding his bike in Heaven and watching over all of us saying…“GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!”

Tell them that you love them.

What or WHO are you Thankful for. If it’s a WHO…tell them and tell them that you love them. You may not get another chance. Life can change in the blink of an eye.

Thanks for sharing this day with me. Love to all.

Blessings, Victoria

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